My Becoming Journey: Week Three

The entries in my third week of the journal feel a bit all over the place. It starts out with talking about food, moves into activities of past and present, then they go into family, speaking out, and finished up with the type of person I want to become. Needless to say, it becomes a bit heavy at the end. But I never said this journey would be easy for any of us.

January 10, 2020

List five favorite family dishes.

1. My Aunt Karen's penne pasta in a creamy tomato sauce with Italian sausage and garlic bread.

2. My mom's beef roast with mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, asparagus, and crescent rolls.

3. My orange chicken with white rice.

4. My mom's chicken Kiev with rice pilaf, garlic Parmesan asparagus, and roasted red potatoes with cilantro.

5. My dad's grilled filet topped with melted blue cheese and roasted red potatoes with cilantro.

January 10, 2020

Describe a memorable dinner. What did you eat? Did you eat it at home or somewhere else?

*Note: Because the first entry I did that night was so quick, I wrote two entries that night.*

Our Denver dessert
at Cattivella.
(Source: Kelsey Darling)

In July 2019, Taylor and I went to Denver for a long weekend. Our last night there, we at at an amazing Italian restaurant, Cattivella. I found the restaurant in a book about the city that listed hidden gems. It has been six months and I still remember how delicious this food was - the company wasn't bad either. I don't remember the name of Taylor's dish, but it had the most delicious meatballs in it, and I hate meatballs. I had the Tagliatelle, which was an amazing cheesy dish, but somehow still very light. We split a Budino for dessert, which is like a hot, melty cake with meringue. I also had my first lemon cello here, at the urging of the table next to us, a group of French people vacationing their way through the U.S. It was a perfect meal. And night.

January 11, 2020

What did you do as a child when school let out for the summer?

Universal Studios with my
California cousins.
(Source: Dad's Photo Collection)

Angelo State Band Camp
with my brother, Ryan.
(Source: Dad's Photo Collection)

Because my mom worked for a school district and my dad worked from home, summers were big family times. Usually we would go up to Wisconsin and spend part of the summer up there with my aunt and uncle and grandparents. Also, my dads job usually took him to San Antonio during the summer, so we would usually spend a long weekend down there. And when my brother Ryan was in high school, he would go to band camp in San Angelo, and we usually spent the last day or two there watching his performances. So definitely lots of travel. The summer was also the time when lots of home projects got done. And some of my most favorite memories are spending Fourth of July at Kaboom Town in Addison to watch the fireworks.

 January 12, 2020

What activities did you previously pursue but don't have time for now? How can you get back to them again?

Yoga is an activity that I have been working on bringing back into my life recently. It was an activity that for a long time, I was doing 5-7 times a week, and anywhere from 30-60 minutes each time. Then life changed and the schedule I developed slowly fell apart. In the last couple weeks, I have made an effort to do it again, even when that means waking up at 4:50 to do it. Writing is another activity I miss. Not journaling, although that's part of it I guess. But at one point in time, I had at least half a book written. But then I stopped connecting with the plot and the characters and the book in whole. The thing is, I have a new idea for a book, but I am scared that what happened with the last one will happen to this one. My hope is that as I continue through this journey, I can gain the confidence to start a novel again.

January 13, 2020

If you could have a conversation with a loved one who has passed away, what would you ask him or her?

My dad's parents,
John and Geri.
(Source: Dad's Photo Collection)

My mom's parents,
Cliff and Betty.
(Source: Dad's Photo Collection)

Picking one person is hard because there are three I want so badly to talk to: all three of my grandparents that have passed away. But if I could only pick one, it would be my Grandpa Peterson. He passed away about two years before I was born. I would ask him to tell me about himself. I know it's simple, but never getting to meet him makes this a very packed question for me. I want to know his personality traits, his likes and dislikes, the goals and fears he had, and if we have any of these things in common. As for the other people, my Grandma Peterson passed away when I was in the fifth grade. The one thing I remember most about her is her baking and cooking, so I would ask her to share every recipe she knew so I could share them again. My other grandmother passed away in 2018 shortly after my 27th birthday. For her, I would ask her about being reunited with her loved ones. Both of her parents passed away when she was a child, and after she passed away, I found comfort in knowing that she would be with them again. I would just want to know that she was with them, and all the others she lost, again.

January 14, 2020

Where did you ancestors come from and what challenges did they face?

On both sides of my family, my ancestors have been here for quite a few generations. Between my parents, I have roots in Germany, England, Wales, Norway, France, Ireland, and Canada. Both sides of my family were farmer when they came to America, so I can only imagine the trials and tribulations they faced. On my dads side, some of the family that came from France settled first in Quebec. There is a church there where multiple generations were baptized, married, buried, and received other Catholic rites. Since discovering this information, I have always thought how wonderful it would be to go there.

My mom's ancestors circa 1905.
(Source: Dad's Photo Collection)

January 15. 2020

Write about a time when you spoke your truth to others. How did it make you feel? What did you learn?

I had a friend a few years back who told me that he had been attacked during a class because he shared an opinion that no one agreed with. When I asked him what the opinion was, he said this: that if a girl is dressed provocatively and/or is drinking heavily and gets harassed/assaulted/raped, she's asking for it. I was sick. I could not figure out how he could justify that. He said he didn't want to get into it, but I wasn't going to let it go. I told him that women are attacked no matter what they're wearing, whether they are as sober as a judge or under the influence. And it doesn't matter. No matter what they are doing, wearing, saying, etc., no one is asking for it. A woman could walk out on the street naked as the day she was born and she is not asking for it. It doesn't even matter if she is dressing sexy for herself or to get attention, she is not dressing a specific way to be raped. He didn't take in a word I said and argued every point. When I asked him how he would feel if that happened to his sisters, his nieces, even me, the person he considered his best friend; he said we would never be stupid enough to get ourselves in that situation. I couldn't make him see my point of view, and we never agreed on it. But it felt good to say it nonetheless. It was one of the first times I ever spoke up on a subject like that, and I was proud of myself for not backing down. I can only hope that over the years, maybe he has come to see reason.

January 16, 2020

What kind of person do you want to become?

I want to become the kind of person that when I am gone, people will say that they know I always cared about them and was always there for them, picking them up at the lows and celebrating the highs, and enjoying the walk in between. I already try to be this person, but I haven't always done that. I have been selfish and childish in the past, and I am not proud of it, but I had to grow up and grow out of it. I want to continue to grow into this person who shows love for all of her friends, because I really do love them all with every fiber of my being. But I want to make sure that they know it and that they never question it.

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