My Becoming Journey: Week One

As I said in my Year in Review post, I will be sharing my journey as I work through the Becoming journal written by Michelle Obama. Michelle Obama is a woman that I try to model myself after in actions and words. She is a woman that I have immense respect for and if I were ever to meet her, I would have a serious fan girl moment. When I read her novel, Becoming, I cried, laughed, and related deeply to many things she said. I have told a couple people about my plans to do this, and they all tell me I am crazy. Why would I open myself up to that kind of ridicule, or even share some of the deepest parts of myself with not only friends and family, but strangers as well. I know it will not be easy, but right before the entries start, Michelle writes "If you don't see that your story matters, chances are no one else will either. So even though it isn't always easy, it's important for you to find the strength to share your truth. Because the world needs to hear it." So I am here to share my story, as Michelle puts it, because someone out there may need to hear it.

(Source: Kelsey Darling's personal copy of the Becoming Journal)

Each week, the amount of entries will vary. Life gets busy and as much as I wish I had the chance to journal every day, I know that is not always a possibility. But there will be at least one entry a week; I have made that commitment. I will post my written entries each Saturday. I do not know what else these posts will include, this is new to me.

I appreciate that you all are sharing this journey with me and if you would like to have your own journey, you can buy your journal here.

December 29, 2019

What's your story and how have you learned to embrace it?

To quote Nine Days, mine is a story of a girl. I try to be as simple of a person as possible. My story includes a select few people whom I love unconditionally; a love for animals, who I think are the most pure creatures on the planet; and a few pleasures that include reading and watching true crime documentaries. I try very hard to take life as if comes; I don't always succeed, but I am working on this. I think that by keeping my life simple and enjoying the small things, I have learned to embrace my life.

January 1, 2020

Where did your story take a sudden turn?

My story took a turn in my second semester of college. I was beginning to second guess my major; I was falling out with my high school friends and did not have a strong enough bond with my new college friends; I was between jobs; and to top it off, I felt like every other conversation with my parents was an argument. It was during this mess of emotions that I met a person who would take my slight confusions and turn it into a tailspin that would take me a good 5-6 years to recover from, which was another turn in my story, but a positive one this time. While it was hard at the time, looking back now, I am very grateful for that initial turn because it led me to where I am now, and I love where I am now.

January 2, 2020

Do you have any favorite quotes? Capture three of them here.

(Source: Kelsey Darling's personal copy of the Becoming Journal)

"Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim." - Nora Ephron

This quote has been my mantra for my mid- and late-twenties. I was tired of feeling like things were happening to me and I had no control. Then I read I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora and things started clicking (not just because of the book). I began to make things happen. I also took control of things I preferred someone else to handle, like getting my car serviced or putting a piece of furniture together. I  made sure I was responsible for myself and my actions, and though I accepted help, I never expected it.

"Don't let those swill merchants rewrite you." - Philip Seymour Hoffman as Lester Bangs in Almost Famous

Almost Famous was the movie of my high school days and remains one of my top five movies 15 years later. At that age, I love the idea of traveling cross country with an up-and-coming band (let's be honest, I still do). But as I learned more about being me, PSH's words resonated with me. I spent too much of my time letting swill merchants rewrite me; I refuse to do it anymore.

"Not all love stories are epic novels; some are short stories. That doesn't mean they are any less filled with love." - Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City

I have frequently told this quote to myself and my friends in time of heartbreak. So often, people believe that because a relationship ended, there was no love. Even I believed that you either always love someone or never did. I can admit how naive that was though. Love is not quantifiable, and it changes, and some times the change means the end of a relationship, but that doesn't mean the love wasn't real.