Beyond Belief: My Secret Life Inside Scientology and My Harrowing Escape by Jenna Miscavige Hill

(Source: Kelsey Darling)

We all know I have a fascination for true crime and cults, but I have never really looked into one of the world's most prominent cults-Scientology. To know what I was first getting into, I read the book Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief by Lawrence Wright, and watched the HBO documentary of the same name. While I did not review it because of the depth of it, it gave me an understanding of the start of Scientology and its founder L. Ron Hubbard. I wanted a history and a brief understanding. I got much more than I bargained for and highly recommend either. Then it was time to dig into Beyond Belief.

Jenna Miscavige was a third generation Scientologist, and after the death of the churches founder, L. Ron Hubbard, became the niece of the churches new leader, David Miscavige. As a child, it was not uncommon for Jenna to go months or years without seeing her parents, doing extreme physical labor, receiving cruel and unusual punishments for the most minor of infractions. As she got older, first her brother, and then her parents, left the Sea Org, a group of the churches most devoted, and were labeled SP's. Without questioning, Jenna cut them out of her life. But when Jenna and her husband, Dallas Hill, take a mission to Australia and learn of a life not completely under the watch of other Sea Org members, Jenna and Dallas begin to question things. Everything culminates when Jenna is 21 and realizes that the church does not care about the greatest good for the greatest amount of people, and she and Dallas decide it is time to live a life outside Scientology.

My first memory of anything related to Scientology was when Tom Cruise went on Oprah and jumped on her couch as he declared his love for Katie Holmes. I knew right then and there that whatever Scientology was, it was crazy. As I read Going Clear and it discussed some of the beliefs, I came to the conclusion that it was really just an extreme form of self help and it had gone completely array. Looking at it on the surface, it is easy to see what the draw is. But when you look into it, you see the crazy come out. But like any cult, they know how to attract vulnerable people who will not realize what is happening until it is too late. And having public figures like John Travolta and Tom Cruise sing their praises only gives them more strength.

(Source: Giphy)

In the beginning, Jenna talks about how she did not know how different her childhood experiences were. When she was 2, her parents re-joined the Sea Org and she never knew a different life. I am sure every kid feels this to some extent. I remember when I learned that not every family was two parents, some kids, and two dogs in a nice rural house, I was surprised. But for Jenna, the differences are much more severe. Even compared to public Scientologists, she has a very different lifestyle. Her mother was based in Florida and after two years, Jenna finally was able to see her; her mother did not recognize her. The only time my mom didn't recognize me was when I went from platinum blonde to almost black the day before, and when she saw me laying in bed face down the next morning, she had forgotten about my hair change. That was a brief moment because I had done something drastic, it was not because my mom was not in my life to know.

"Whereas, for years, everyone had been telling me that the way I missed my parents was wrong, that I should be accustomed to not having them around, he was the first person who seemed to acknowledge how strange the situation was. Everyone else simply said that the way I was thinking was wrong. Listening to him talk was the first time that it had even occurred to me that maybe they were the ones who were wrong, not me." (p. 209)

The punishments that are inflicted upon the members are what really get me. Not only is there physical labor required, usually breaking rocks or scrubbing dumpsters, but there was also emotional and mental punishments. You would be forced to "admit" their wrong doings and why they did it, as well as be ostracized until they had made enough amends. To top it off, "privileges," such as phone calls to family members or decent food, were removed. The worst though is that you do not have to necessarily be the one to do something. When Jenna's mother had an affair, Jenna received punishments without knowing anything. If someone you had been close with "blew" (left without permission), you would be subjected to multiple security checks to find out what you knew and where you stand. And even when you leave, you are still subject to harassment and stalking.

(Source: Giphy)

Jenna's story is extremely moving and shows the horrors of cult life. She talks about how she was able to rationalize things she was told because the Church and her uncle would not lead her astray. She was so deep in that she would not even listen to her brother or parents when they left. Even after she and Dallas left, they had a hard time learning about how to have a life outside of the Church and away from the regiment. Cults are extremely dangerous. They tear apart families and break people down. People lose all of their possessions, money, and identities. Jenna Miscavige Hill along with two other ex-Scientologists run a website called Ex-Scientology Kids that gives information and offers support for those leaving or for people with family and friends in Scientology. If you are worried about a loved one being in a cult, there are many resources online to help you and them when they are ready.

Rating: 8/10
Author: Jenna Miscavige Hill
Genres: Non-Fiction, Memoir, Religion
Dates Read: August 18-22, 2019