Becoming by Michelle Obama

Michelle Obama has been one of my favorite First Ladies since before becoming a First Lady. Her speeches on Barack's campaign were full of inspiration and motivation. During her time as first lady, she was always so well poised and well spoken, and when she would make appearances on shows like Ellen or Jimmy Fallon or James Corden, she seemed like the most fun person in the world. I knew that when it was announced that she was writing a book, that I would have to read it.

(Source: Kelsey Darling)

Becoming focuses on three parts of Michelle's life: her childhood and early adulthood, her early life with Barack, and their life in the White House. In each part, Michelle talks about trials and tribulations, as well as triumphs. She discusses how she played mommy to her dolls, high school and college boyfriends, her first kiss ever and her first kiss with Barack, losing her father and a dear friend, trying to become pregnant and going through IVF, marriage counseling, and so many more personal details finishing with her last day as First Lady.

Part one is Becoming Me, where she talks about her childhood. My favorite part of this section was any time Michelle talks about school and her dedication to learning. I feel like had we gone to school together, we would have been best friends, or rival competitors for top marks with begrudging respect for the other. Another thing that I found extremely relatable is her relationship with her parents. At one point, Michelle states that her parents never spoke to her and her brother, Craig, like children but rather as people. Her mother also says that she was not raising babies, but adults. (These are not direct quotes; I was so in to the book that I forgot to mark quotes I would want to use. Nonetheless, they are very close to the actual remarks.) I have always felt that my parents treated my brothers and I the same way. Every time I found something relatable with Michelle, I became more excited. Who does not want to be Michelle Obama?!

Of course, not everything was relatable. Because her parents spoke only the truth to her, they were very open that the color of her skin could be used against her. Michelle speaks of a time that Craig was questioned by a black police officer about his brand new bike because there is no way a black kid would have been able to come upon a new bike in a legal way. Another time, she mentions when a cousin asks Michelle why she talks like a white person. It was almost like a lose-lose situation. I felt my heart drop any time someone made some comment about her race, knowing that it was all too common an occurrence.

(Source: Giphy)

Becoming Me closes with Michelle and Barack's first official date and their first kiss. As sweet as it was to learn about these firsts for them, I did feel like I was witnessing something I should not have seen, a private moment between two people I love and respect. Nonetheless, it was very sweet. After this, the novel switches into part two, Becoming Us. This is probably my most favorite part of the book, for a variety of reasons.

Just pages into this section, Michelle discusses when Barack met her parents for the first time. "According to Craig, my father shook his head and laughed as he watched me and Barack walk away. 'Nice guy,' he said. 'Too bad he won't last'" (p. 114). Again, I could not help buy chuckle and the similarities as my parents have never assumed anyone I have dated would stick, but I also chuckled at the fact that you just never know what will happen.

Also in this section, after Michelle and Barack have married and Sasha and Malia have entered the world, Michelle talks about the marriage counseling they would go to, and again, I could not help but chuckle a little but also understand.

"Our counselor-Dr. Woodchurch, let's call him-was a soft-spoken white man who'd gone to good universities and always whore khakis. My assumption was that he would hear what Barack and I had to say and then instantly validate all of my grievances. Because every last one of those grievances was, as I saw it, absolutely valid. I'm going to guess that Barack might have felt the same ways about his own grievances.

This turned out to be the big revelation for me about counseling. No sides were taken. When it came to our disagreements, Dr. Woodchurch would never be the deciding vote." (p. 206)

Anytime you discuss a disagreement with someone outside the disagreement, you always assume they will take your side and you will prove the other wrong. Knowing that Michelle Obama also fell for this idea makes her so unbelievably relatable. I do not believe that they would have ever gotten divorced had they not gone to counseling, but I am very glad they did, otherwise I do not think they would be so relatable and open; I might even go as far as to say that Barack might not have run for president. Who knows. There are a lot of what if's. But what is clear is that counseling was extremely beneficial and I love them more for talking about it. 

I cannot pinpoint why this next part has stood out to me so much, but I love when Michelle discusses Malia's birthday during Barack's first campaign.

"Any parent of a child born on a major holiday knows that there's already a certain line to be walked between an individual celebration and more universal festivities. The good people of Butte seemed to get it. There were 'Happy Birthday Malia!' signs taped inside the windows of storefronts along Main Street. Bystanders shouted out their good wishes to her over pounding bass drums and flutes piping 'Yankee Doodle' as our family watched the town's Fourth of July parade from a set of bleachers. The people we met were kind to the girls and respectful to us, even when confessing that voting for any Democrat would be a half-crazy departure from tradition." (p. 253)

I know this is less to do with Becoming, but part of me loves this part because it shows that people can come together, despite political differences, and celebrate a little girl's birthday and make it special. With there being so much negative in the world, it is nice to know that there is still good, even if this was more than a decade ago. Michelle questions if this was how the birthday should have been celebrated, and briefly feels that she and Barack have failed their daughter, until Malia says that the birthday was wonderful. While Michelle may have questioned herself, which I am sure is an occasional thought for parents, Michelle and Barack have always been the "cool parents" to me.

(Source: Giphy)

Becoming More focuses on the days of Michelle being First Lady. Maybe it is because I lived through this time and followed Michelle during this time, but I was not as invested in this part. That is not to say that it was not interesting. She discusses the first time she saw the presidential motorcade and the shock and relief it brought her. How the constant presence of the secret service is a comfort and a nuisance. How when one of her daughters wanted to make a last minute run to get ice cream while at a friends house, it turned into a whole hour long ordeal. These parts were extremely hard to relate to, but as Michelle mentions, very few people alive know what this is like. 

The part that I kept coming back to was when Michelle and Barack met Laura and George Bush for a tour of the White House, and not the tour the average citizen gets. This tour includes the private area, the dining room, the kitchen, the guest quarters, and every other bonus room in the six-floor building. The part that I loved the most was this:

Laura took me into a pretty, light-filled room off the master bedroom that was traditionally used as the First Lady's dressing room. She pointed out the view of the Rose Garden and the Oval Office through the window, adding that it gave her comfort to be able to look out and sometimes get a sense of what her husband was doing. Hillary Clinton, she said, had shown her the same view when she'd come to visit the White House eight years earlier. And eight years before that, her mother-in-law, Barbara Bush, had pointed out the view to Hillary. I looked out the window, reminded that I was part of a humble continuum." (p. 291)

The "humble continuum" is what I keep thinking about. Did she show that view to Melania Trump? Does she find comfort in seeing Donald in the Oval Office? Will Melania show that view to the next First Lady? I realize I may never know these answers, but I am curious. I feel that every First Lady would want that comfort. Maybe that is the romantic in me. 

(Source: Giphy)

The book finishes with the election of Donald Trump and his inauguration. Michelle discusses her feelings of worry of how everything her husbands two terms stood for are at risk of being destroyed. I hate that such a wonderful book had to end on such a sour note. But that is what makes it non-fiction: you cannot always get the ending you want. If Becoming has taught me anything, it is that Michelle is a wonderful role model and that she will never run for President, as much as some of want that.

(Source: Giphy)

Also, I strong suggest getting the audio book as it is read by Michelle Obama and makes the book that much more personal.

Rating: 10/10

Author: Michelle Obama

Genres: Autobiography, Memoir, Non-Fiction

Dates Read: November 30- December 6, 2018