My Becoming Journey: Week Eleven

So when I took a week off for vacation, I did not know that I would be coming home to a pandemic and quarantine. While Taylor and I are doing fine, we are practicing our social distancing and only leaving for the occasional trip to a store for hopeful restocks, or to grab a quick meal to support local businesses in this time of need. I hope all of my readers are being safe out there in this scary time. I know we have all heard it a million times now, but wash your hands, stay inside, and do what you can to take care of those who are high risk.

Well, back to business. This week, my Becoming posts focus a lot on mental health type of things. Some of it was harder to talk about since they are things that have since been repaired. But I hope that by sharing some of these things, others will find strength in them.

March 15, 2020

Describe a time when patience and rigor contributed to your own self-love and growth.

Me before and after losing 85 pounds.
(Source: My Photo Collection)

One thing that I always hate talking about is when I weighed more...a lot more. After my abusive relationship and failing out of school, I sunk into a deep depression where all I did was eat and drink. And while the weight was easy to put on, it felt impossible to take off. But through hard work, dedication, and help from friends, family, and my doctor, I made it possible. I have vowed to never let my health take a backseat again. The entire journey really made me appreciate what my body could do, and I try my best to take better care of it. It's the only body I have.

March 16, 2020

Write about a specific experience when someone dislodged a dream of yours by trying to lower your expectations. How did it make you feel? How did you try to overcome that obstacle?

This is a hard one because it means talking about a time my dad and I didn't agree, so I will preface this with this: everything worked out and my dad said and did what he did because I am his child and he wants to protect me and see me be successful; I don't hold any of this stuff against him.

For a long time, I have wanted to work with my dad and eventually take over the business. My dad had a laundry list of reasons of why I should go into another field. Looking back, I know it was because he was not yet ready to start thinking he will one day retire, but at the time, it just really hurt. I had been helping him from a young age, but suddenly I wasn't good enough, at least that's how it felt. In the end, I waited a few years, learned some skills, and grew up. He eventually approached me about joining him, and now I have my dream job.

March 17, 2020

List five ways that person was wrong.

1. "As a female, you shouldn't be on the road alone." This was a weak excuse since we work with two other women who are capable of being on the road. I know now that it had more to do with me being his child and he'll always worry about me. He just didn't phrase it correctly.

   

   Me on a work road trip.
   (Source: My Photo Collection)

2. "What if your future husband doesn't want you to travel? What about when you have kids?" My travel actually did become an issue with a couple guys I dated, so this was a legitimate worry of my dads, but I also knew that when I found the right person, it wouldn't matter, and I was right.
3. "A lot of what I do is still considered a mans job and you might not be accepted." I dealt with this working in insurance as well. Unfortunately, as a woman, I will always have to prove myself, but I am paving the path for future women.
4. "The job is physical and you have already hurt your back once." Being physical help my back stay healthy. And, if I can get hurt, so can he.
5. "It might ruin our relationship." Honestly, I feared this too. But, two and a half years later, my dad is still my best friend. Working together has only strengthened it. And made me realize how much like my dad I am.

March 18, 2020

When was your last good cry, and how did you feel afterward?

I'm long overdue for a good cry. I have cried recently, but it hasn't been a good cry that lets everything out. I guess that means it's time to pull out "The Way We Were." This is my go to I-need-to-cry-for-two-hours movie. And not just because of the whole "Your girl is lovely Hubbell" scene at the end. No, I cry at the protest in the beginning, during the book scene, when Katie realizes she is the only one she can talk to about being heart broken even though he is the one who broke her heart, how his friends never accept her because she is unapologetically herself. I get misty eyed just thinking about it. But I am a person who believe a good cry every now and then is very beneficial. It helps you release emotions that you don't realize you're holding in, and when you're done, everything is fresh and new and you feel better.

March 19, 2020

How do you look after yourself after you've had a bad day?

It depends on the kind of "bad day" I have had, but these are a couple examples:

• I'll suggest a date night with Taylor or a game night with friends.
• I'll take a long bubble bath complete with face mask, candles, a drink, and Hulu or Netflix.
• Organize my books.
• Read a book and not stop until I pass out.
• Watch rom-coms.

One of my infamous baths.
(Source: My Photo Collection)

March 20, 2020

What transition are you going through right now? Do you feel ready for it?

Me adulting and making
everything really homey.
(Source: My Photo Collection)

Currently I am facing that "holy shit I'm an adult" transition. Obviously, I've been an adult for a while, but it is really beginning to feel real. And I don't mean in the pay bills, buy groceries, make my own doctor appointments kind of adult. I mean in a fun way. I'm at an age where I am planning vacations that aren't just visiting family. I enjoy cooking new meals and having friends over to try them. I get satisfaction from a clean and tidy house. I love that my life feels busy because I appreciate when it slows down. It feels unreal getting to a point where being an adult is actually fun.

**If you want to have your own Becoming journey, you can purchase a copy of the journal at your local bookstore or on Amazon.**