My Sweet Audrina by V.C. Andrews
While listening to old episodes of My Favorite Murder, they were discussing V.C. Andrews books, particularly Flowers in the Attic and My Sweet Audrina. Flowers was already in my TBR list, and I wanted to read that one first, but they are going to re-release the audio book, and I wanted to wait for that. So when picking out books for October, I figured why not read My Sweet Audrina. While it was a decent book, I have decided against reading its "sequel;" I'll go into that later.
Audrina, at the innocent age of seven, cannot keep her time straight; days, weeks, months, and years blend into one another, speeding up and slowing down, giving her a "Swiss cheese memory." Her parents are very strict and controlling as well. Audrina does not go to school, has no friends, and most importantly, must never go into the woods that surround the house so that what happened to the first Audrina does not happen to her. The first Audrina died a horrible death in the woods, and her father wants nothing more than to protect the second Audrina. But as she ages and the world around her changes, Audrina is left questioning her family and her memory. She wants only to get out of the shadow of the first and best Audrina, but how can she if she cannot remember.
I hated how time worked in this book. It drove me up the wall. I know it was done how it was done because Andrews is trying to show the reader how Audrina feels, but trust me, I get it. But time is so ambiguous, I did not even know what decade the book was taking place in. Sometimes, it felt like it was the turn of the century when they talk about gas lamps and petticoats; at other times, it felt more modern, like the 1980s when the book was written. There are countless deaths in the book, but none of the headstones have a year on them (or if they did, I missed it because I was so annoyed). I could have done with being confused with the passing of time, but give me a jumping off point so I know if I should picture a place in 1901 or 1981. I eventually Google'd it and had the plot spoiled for me; but, I could not keep on trying to figure out even a basic year. But according to Wikipedia, the book takes place in 1960s and 1970s, which seemed reasonable enough.
You know what else V.C. Andrews is really good at? Creating a love/hate relationship with her characters. In her youth, you really feel sorry for Audrina. It really seems as though no one really cares that she is suffering. She wants to understand the life going on around her, but no one is willing to explain the simplest things. Her parents are annoying. Her dad, Damien, is the typical 1950s alpha male; he wants money and status, a beautiful wife, the perfect family, and an astonishing house. Apparently no one told him those things do not come easily and require work. Her mother, Lucietta, gave up her dream of becoming a concert pianist and constantly blames everyone for her decision to marry an egotistical ass. However, they both have moments where they are loving towards Audrina and each other, showing you that nothing is perfect (although there are more negatives than positives in these relationships making them quite toxic). Also in the house, you have Aunt Ellsbeth and her daughter, Vera, who was born out of wedlock and raised as Audrina's sister. When Audrina is a child, Ellsbeth could not seem to care one way or the other for Audrina, but hated Vera; Vera and Audrina never got along for more than a few minutes as Vera always has ulterior motives. While it is hinted at many times, you find out in the end that they are actually half-sisters and Vera hates Audrina for getting everything she never had since their father married Audrina's mother.
I feel so anti-feminist saying this because I do believe that a woman should live whatever life she chooses, but these women are weak. Lucietta and Ellsbeth spend their entire lives pining for a man who just wants the next most beautiful woman on his arm and when she falls off her pedestal, he is done with her. He is abusive physically, mentally, and sexually and raise Audrina to believe that the man, as the head of the house, will do what he wants. Vera is so disgruntled by being Damien's bastard child that she spends her entire life trying to find ways to ruin him and the entire Whitefern name. At 19, Audrina knows so little about life that she thinks the only way to escape the abuse of her father is to marry her boyfriend, Arden, only to return home, now married, and have her father and husband become best friends. Arden's mother, Billie, also falls for Damien, because he has been the only person who makes her feel beautiful after she lost both legs to gangrene. She even admits that her self-worth is tied to how he makes her feel, which basically sums up all of these women.
What bothers me the most about this book though is that it all revolves around the fact that there are not two Audrina's, there is just one. Sadly, on her ninth birthday, Audrina was followed into the woods by some older classmates who gang raped her. Vera planned this with the boys because she thought if she could take away Audrina's purity, their father would love her more. Because he cannot deal with his sweet Audrina being sullied, and because Audrina believes she is now worth nothing, her memory is tampered with until she forgets the horrible details of that day. So just in case you aren't getting this, a nine-year-old thought she should die because her sister and three cowards raped her, and instead of getting her the help she needed, her parents brainwashed her because being raped is something you should be ashamed of. This follows Audrina into adulthood and on her wedding night, she even believes that making love to her now husband is disgusting. I realize the time frame here (this is why I needed to know), but this bothers me so much. What bothers me even more, it happens still and it's 2019. Rape is still the victims fault. I guess that is what I also like about this book. Published in 1982, this book was ahead of its time in saying that rape is not the fault of the victim, it is the fault of the cowards who commit it. Audrina's family's reaction shaped her entire life in a negative way from there on out. Had they gotten her help, Audrina could have lived a normal life and not felt disgust and guilt when making love with her husband. Instead, anything more than a chaste kiss or holding hands made her filthy in her eyes.
The book also discusses other difficult topics of the time: infidelity, diabetes, depression, and post-traumatic stress. Andrews does not cherry coat any of these topics and builds anger in the reader. Andrews walks a fine line of pushing the readers buttons with the disjointed narrative and hard topics, but she seems to toe the line. There is a second book, Whitefern, that I did consider reading; I even bought the book. But then I learned that it was written by a ghost writer, Andrew Neiderman, although the book is still attributed to Andrews. I am not usually one to follow the crowds, but the plot of the novel seemed iffy to me, and reviews for it were quite negative. While he has written many novels as her ghost writer, it seemed disloyal to read it, especially when I do not feel the story needs to go on.
It may sound like I am hating on this novel, but I'm not, I promise. It was ahead of its time in standing up for women's rights and showing people that a woman is more than her virginity, while covering many other topics uncommon for its publication date. Did I like the time warp? Not really, but I understand why it is done. Did I love the book? No, but I can appreciate it for what it is and what it says and would suggest it for people who do not necessarily understand the struggle of being a "perfect" woman that so many women feel they have to be.
Rating: 6/10
Author: V.C. Andrews
Genres: Horror, Gothic, Young Adult
Dates Read: October 4-9, 2019
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| (Source: Kelsey Darling) |
I hated how time worked in this book. It drove me up the wall. I know it was done how it was done because Andrews is trying to show the reader how Audrina feels, but trust me, I get it. But time is so ambiguous, I did not even know what decade the book was taking place in. Sometimes, it felt like it was the turn of the century when they talk about gas lamps and petticoats; at other times, it felt more modern, like the 1980s when the book was written. There are countless deaths in the book, but none of the headstones have a year on them (or if they did, I missed it because I was so annoyed). I could have done with being confused with the passing of time, but give me a jumping off point so I know if I should picture a place in 1901 or 1981. I eventually Google'd it and had the plot spoiled for me; but, I could not keep on trying to figure out even a basic year. But according to Wikipedia, the book takes place in 1960s and 1970s, which seemed reasonable enough.
 |
| (Source: Giphy) |
I feel so anti-feminist saying this because I do believe that a woman should live whatever life she chooses, but these women are weak. Lucietta and Ellsbeth spend their entire lives pining for a man who just wants the next most beautiful woman on his arm and when she falls off her pedestal, he is done with her. He is abusive physically, mentally, and sexually and raise Audrina to believe that the man, as the head of the house, will do what he wants. Vera is so disgruntled by being Damien's bastard child that she spends her entire life trying to find ways to ruin him and the entire Whitefern name. At 19, Audrina knows so little about life that she thinks the only way to escape the abuse of her father is to marry her boyfriend, Arden, only to return home, now married, and have her father and husband become best friends. Arden's mother, Billie, also falls for Damien, because he has been the only person who makes her feel beautiful after she lost both legs to gangrene. She even admits that her self-worth is tied to how he makes her feel, which basically sums up all of these women.
 |
| (Source: Giphy) |
"'If a kitchen slave is all I'll ever mean to Damian, or just another conquest...even so, Audrina, I'd be grateful even so.' Her voice lowered. 'When I lost my legs I thought that never again would a man want to hold me and love me. Damian has made me feel like a whole woman again. Tell me that I smile and act cheerful, Audrina, but that's the facade I wear, like a pretty dress. The ugly dress I wear is the fact that I hate the way I am now.'" (p. 317)
What bothers me the most about this book though is that it all revolves around the fact that there are not two Audrina's, there is just one. Sadly, on her ninth birthday, Audrina was followed into the woods by some older classmates who gang raped her. Vera planned this with the boys because she thought if she could take away Audrina's purity, their father would love her more. Because he cannot deal with his sweet Audrina being sullied, and because Audrina believes she is now worth nothing, her memory is tampered with until she forgets the horrible details of that day. So just in case you aren't getting this, a nine-year-old thought she should die because her sister and three cowards raped her, and instead of getting her the help she needed, her parents brainwashed her because being raped is something you should be ashamed of. This follows Audrina into adulthood and on her wedding night, she even believes that making love to her now husband is disgusting. I realize the time frame here (this is why I needed to know), but this bothers me so much. What bothers me even more, it happens still and it's 2019. Rape is still the victims fault. I guess that is what I also like about this book. Published in 1982, this book was ahead of its time in saying that rape is not the fault of the victim, it is the fault of the cowards who commit it. Audrina's family's reaction shaped her entire life in a negative way from there on out. Had they gotten her help, Audrina could have lived a normal life and not felt disgust and guilt when making love with her husband. Instead, anything more than a chaste kiss or holding hands made her filthy in her eyes.
 |
| (Source: Giphy) |
It may sound like I am hating on this novel, but I'm not, I promise. It was ahead of its time in standing up for women's rights and showing people that a woman is more than her virginity, while covering many other topics uncommon for its publication date. Did I like the time warp? Not really, but I understand why it is done. Did I love the book? No, but I can appreciate it for what it is and what it says and would suggest it for people who do not necessarily understand the struggle of being a "perfect" woman that so many women feel they have to be.
Rating: 6/10
Author: V.C. Andrews
Genres: Horror, Gothic, Young Adult
Dates Read: October 4-9, 2019
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