Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
To continue with my palette cleanser after the Grant County series, the second book I picked from my short list was Me Talk Pretty One Day. I had read a David Sedaris book in 2019 and enjoyed his dry humor and outlook on the world, so I knew that this would be a safe bet.
Like his other books, this book is a collection of 28 short stories and essays that poke fun at his friends, family, country, and of course, himself. While I know his humor isn't everyone's cup of tea, it is definitely mine and find myself chuckling every few pages. Me Talk Pretty One Day focuses a lot on arts, language, and culture that have impacted his life. The ones below were my favorites from this book.
Go Carolina
"She moved her hands toward her face, and I worried that she might start to cry. 'Hey, look,' I said. 'I'm thorry.' 'Ha-ha,' she said. 'I got you.' (p. 15) In Go Carolina, Sedaris discusses the speech therapy class that he had as a child, and how much of a masochist the specialist was as she tried to turn his "collegeth" and "univerthitieth" into "colleges" and "universities." However, Sedaris was quite fine with his lazy s's, as she called them, and instead found ways around the issue by using a thesaurus to find synonyms and using the words "many" and "few" and other descriptive adjectives to avoid making words plural. At the end of the semester, she tricks Sedaris into using a word phase that doesn't have a non-s replacement - "I'm thorry." Sedaris might have won the battles, but she won the war.
For me, it was the ending that made me appreciate the story. Kids might assume their teachers don't know anything, but this teacher knew how to get you to say the one thing you are determined not to.
Giant Dreams, Midget Abilities
"'But I'm sick!' I yelled, watching him pull out of the parking lot. 'I have a virus, and besides that, I don't want to play a musical instrument. Don't you know anything.'" (p. 21) At one point in Sedaris' childhood, his father decided that his children would form a trio of brilliant musicians. Just one small problem: they did not want to learn instruments. While Sedaris admits that he would love to sing, the guitar his father bought him did not do much for him. It did not help that his guitar teacher, a midget, was also pretty adamant in Sedaris naming his guitar after a woman, even though Sedaris never noticed women and was not sure what to do, so he named it after his cousin. After struggling through many practices, Sedaris finally opens up that he wants to be a jazz singer and the teacher says he does not want to teach a "screw ball." Sedaris tells his dad the teacher said his fingers are too short for guitar; then his siblings came up with similar excuses, and their fathers dreams were dashed.
My parents never forced me into playing an instrument. I eagerly signed up for guitar in fifth grade and trumpet in seventh. However, by my junior year, my interest in music was waning. My parents, however, loved being band parents and convinced me the scholarship would be worth it. It was a different situation, but I still was able to laugh along with it.
The Youth in Asia
"Vet number two tester her blood and phoned me a few days later suggesting I consider euthanasia. I hadn't heard that word since childhood and immediately recalled a mismatched pair of Japanese schoolboys standing alone in a deserted school yard." (p.78) In this story, Sedaris discusses the various pets he had growing up, and how he and his siblings thought his mother was some sort of a miracle worker who could bring infant pups back to life, but realized her magic only worked on the cute and cuddly because she was not able to revive their older, more ragged dog. His parents were known for going out and getting a replacement animal any time something happened to an animal, and how the animals never filled the shoes of their predecessor because they never knew the same tricks.
I love when he talks about pets because this is a subject I always relate to. The part in this that I related to the most was when he was talking about a dog his parents got when all of the children were gone and the dog had taken a status above the children. It reminded me of my parents getting their boxer back in 2012, and me hearing my mom talk baby talk to her and realizing I had been replaced.
Today's Special
"Part of the problem is that we live in the wrong part of town. SoHo is not a macaroni salad kind of place. This is where the world's brightest young talents come to braise caramelized racks of corn-fed songbirds or offer up their famous knuckle of flash-seared crappie served with a collar of chided ginger and cornered by a tribe of kiln-roasted Chilean toadstools, teased with a warm spray of clarified musk oil." (p. 121) Sedaris and his partner, Hugh, are out for dinner at a nice restaurant, which is an extremely daunting task in NYC. Dishes are not simple 3-4 ingredient plates; they are 12 or more ingredient plates with everything piled tall instead of laid out wide like mom use to make. Because of the amount of ingredients, it's almost a guarantee there is something in it Sedaris won't like, as well as a chance he won't know everything going into it either. When their meals arrive, he cannot tell which on is supposed to be Hugh's and which is his. He just knows his plate is supposed to have potatoes, and they are hidden somewhere in the tall tower of food on his plate.
This one really had me laughing because it is so relateable. My boyfriend and I try to go to something outside of our comfort zone whenever we travel; but we can both be picky. I am a bit more adventurous and will try something new as long as I know most of the ingredients; he, however, wants to know he will enjoy his food and how can you know you will enjoy it if you have not had every ingredient on the plate.
Me Talk Pretty One Day
"'Oh, really,' the teacher said. 'How interesting. I thought that everyone loved the mosquito, but here, in front of all the world, you claim to detest him. How is it that we've been blessed with someone as unique and original as you? Tell us, please.'" (p. 168) In the titular story, Sedaris talks about how at the age of 41, he has returned to school to learn French as his partner has a home in Normandy, so it is a bit essential. The teacher of the class is quite sadistic though, and loves to berate the students for every little mis-chosen word and incorrect phrasing. What made it worse was his ability to only understand every few words, so he did not get the full brunt of the insult. His proudest moment was when he was finally able to understand her harassment, even if he couldn't respond correctly.
Basically all of his stories on trying to learn French are entertaining. In different stories, he talks about how he learns there are two types of foreigners speaking French: those who speak it painfully correct and those that just yell English very slowly as if speaking to a child or the almost deaf. In another, he talks about his embarrassment about not being able to figure out if nouns are masculine or feminine, since in English, this is not a thing. This thing really got to me because it is the main issue I have had when I took French in high school and Spanish in college. Seriously, how is a pencil a certain gender?! There is no rhyme or reason to it, you just have to know it.
Rating: 8/10
Author: David Sedaris
Genres: Essays, Humor, Short Stories
Dates Read: February 25-26, 2020
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| (Source: Kelsey Darling) |
Go Carolina
"She moved her hands toward her face, and I worried that she might start to cry. 'Hey, look,' I said. 'I'm thorry.' 'Ha-ha,' she said. 'I got you.' (p. 15) In Go Carolina, Sedaris discusses the speech therapy class that he had as a child, and how much of a masochist the specialist was as she tried to turn his "collegeth" and "univerthitieth" into "colleges" and "universities." However, Sedaris was quite fine with his lazy s's, as she called them, and instead found ways around the issue by using a thesaurus to find synonyms and using the words "many" and "few" and other descriptive adjectives to avoid making words plural. At the end of the semester, she tricks Sedaris into using a word phase that doesn't have a non-s replacement - "I'm thorry." Sedaris might have won the battles, but she won the war.
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| (Source: Giphy) |
Giant Dreams, Midget Abilities
"'But I'm sick!' I yelled, watching him pull out of the parking lot. 'I have a virus, and besides that, I don't want to play a musical instrument. Don't you know anything.'" (p. 21) At one point in Sedaris' childhood, his father decided that his children would form a trio of brilliant musicians. Just one small problem: they did not want to learn instruments. While Sedaris admits that he would love to sing, the guitar his father bought him did not do much for him. It did not help that his guitar teacher, a midget, was also pretty adamant in Sedaris naming his guitar after a woman, even though Sedaris never noticed women and was not sure what to do, so he named it after his cousin. After struggling through many practices, Sedaris finally opens up that he wants to be a jazz singer and the teacher says he does not want to teach a "screw ball." Sedaris tells his dad the teacher said his fingers are too short for guitar; then his siblings came up with similar excuses, and their fathers dreams were dashed.
My parents never forced me into playing an instrument. I eagerly signed up for guitar in fifth grade and trumpet in seventh. However, by my junior year, my interest in music was waning. My parents, however, loved being band parents and convinced me the scholarship would be worth it. It was a different situation, but I still was able to laugh along with it.
The Youth in Asia
"Vet number two tester her blood and phoned me a few days later suggesting I consider euthanasia. I hadn't heard that word since childhood and immediately recalled a mismatched pair of Japanese schoolboys standing alone in a deserted school yard." (p.78) In this story, Sedaris discusses the various pets he had growing up, and how he and his siblings thought his mother was some sort of a miracle worker who could bring infant pups back to life, but realized her magic only worked on the cute and cuddly because she was not able to revive their older, more ragged dog. His parents were known for going out and getting a replacement animal any time something happened to an animal, and how the animals never filled the shoes of their predecessor because they never knew the same tricks.
I love when he talks about pets because this is a subject I always relate to. The part in this that I related to the most was when he was talking about a dog his parents got when all of the children were gone and the dog had taken a status above the children. It reminded me of my parents getting their boxer back in 2012, and me hearing my mom talk baby talk to her and realizing I had been replaced.
Today's Special
"Part of the problem is that we live in the wrong part of town. SoHo is not a macaroni salad kind of place. This is where the world's brightest young talents come to braise caramelized racks of corn-fed songbirds or offer up their famous knuckle of flash-seared crappie served with a collar of chided ginger and cornered by a tribe of kiln-roasted Chilean toadstools, teased with a warm spray of clarified musk oil." (p. 121) Sedaris and his partner, Hugh, are out for dinner at a nice restaurant, which is an extremely daunting task in NYC. Dishes are not simple 3-4 ingredient plates; they are 12 or more ingredient plates with everything piled tall instead of laid out wide like mom use to make. Because of the amount of ingredients, it's almost a guarantee there is something in it Sedaris won't like, as well as a chance he won't know everything going into it either. When their meals arrive, he cannot tell which on is supposed to be Hugh's and which is his. He just knows his plate is supposed to have potatoes, and they are hidden somewhere in the tall tower of food on his plate.
 |
| (Source: Giphy) |
Me Talk Pretty One Day
"'Oh, really,' the teacher said. 'How interesting. I thought that everyone loved the mosquito, but here, in front of all the world, you claim to detest him. How is it that we've been blessed with someone as unique and original as you? Tell us, please.'" (p. 168) In the titular story, Sedaris talks about how at the age of 41, he has returned to school to learn French as his partner has a home in Normandy, so it is a bit essential. The teacher of the class is quite sadistic though, and loves to berate the students for every little mis-chosen word and incorrect phrasing. What made it worse was his ability to only understand every few words, so he did not get the full brunt of the insult. His proudest moment was when he was finally able to understand her harassment, even if he couldn't respond correctly.
 |
| (Source: Giphy) |
Rating: 8/10
Author: David Sedaris
Genres: Essays, Humor, Short Stories
Dates Read: February 25-26, 2020
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